Wade in the Water

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer.

                                                                                  Romans 12:12

Recent events have made me unusually still...frozen...My thoughts have been in the deep freeze, yet sloshing a watery middle like a piece of ice in a tray; that is not yet done.  Formerly Orlando, presently, Baton Rouge, Minnesota, Dallas, tomorrow what's next?  It's getting more and more difficult to explain the atrocities of people being murdered for no reason.  It is cold in the middle of all this and their hearts are so warm.  All ten of their big brown eyes wait for me to give an explanation in which words have been difficult.  One of my daughters asked me if we have to be afraid now?  My response was a sudden no, but inside I was nervous,  I told her and the rest of our children that God is with us.  That we have to be aware, but not to fear because He is with us.  This was our conversation before heading to the pool.  

We were waiting for my husband to come home.  I hadn't shared with them the many prayers sent up through the day as we anticipated him coming home from work.  I wanted to shield him in some way.  Cover him, but there was nothing I could or can do, but pray for his protection.  Pray that before his skin tone gets to where he's going, his upbeat personality, his optimism, and bright smile will get there first.  Earlier that morning I had talked to him.  I told him of our plans to go to the pool and how we couldn't wait for him to come home.   "Not sure if that's such a good idea right now," he said.  I had never heard this type of hesitation in his voice.  He continued, "The atmosphere has changed out here...If we go out we definitely need to be more aware of our surroundings."  I held my breath and then let out a long, silent, sigh after hanging up the phone.  My mind kept returning to the fact that we have two sons.  Wonderful, bright, curious, beautiful boys.  I thought to myself, how are we going to continue training them in all of this muck.  

Upon entering the building to go to the pool, peculiarity was in the air.  The person waiting on us at the front desk seemed nervous.  I don't think he was nervous because he thought we were a threat; it was more like he was waiting for us to judge him in some way.  We were all in bubbly anticipation to get in the water.  My husband smiled and told the young man to have a nice day.  I could almost hear him exhale as we walked away.  Had he been dealing with that all day?  More breathing out.  The life guards were were wearing rainbow colored tye-dyed shirts.  The shirts they wore reflected their very presence.  This group of life protectors were from various races.  There was a white women teaching teaching two non-white children how to swim.  There was a light skinned black man with special needs that people were wary of until they realized he had special needs.  Note, he was the friendliest person out of everyone there.  Kids were being kids, there were shrills of laughter, splashing, and the occasional person who was freaked out by sucking up too much water in their nose.  I.m not trying to paint an idyllic picture here, but, the ball of nerves, the sick feeling in the pit of my gut, the setting aside of apprehension it took persist despite our emotions was needed.  Placing one foot in front of the other, that is what we all must do, persist.  We must keep standing up to move forward.  

By the way, the tepidity of the pool water seemed to melt away the frigid.  I was prepared for it to be cold, but it was like that cold drink that sweats down the sides of the glass because it had been sitting on the counter unattended to.  The ice melts for some time but the beverage is still drinkable.  We can do this.  Enjoy your day.